Thank God for Aircon

Bali is beautiful. A ragged tropical landscape filled with kind people and endless waves. Waves so monstrous they stop you in your tracks. This is what happened the first time I arrived at Uluwatu. Standing above the steps, looking out at the sets coming through, thinking, “This can’t be real.”

It was probably just the swell that day but it’s a memory that is still clear to me even though my first trip was way back in 2002. Long before they dismantled the achingly stunning views of Dreamland for holiday condo’s, and just after the Bali bombings. It was our first overseas trip as a family.

In anticipation my mom bought a guide book called ‘Surfing Indonesia’ and today it is so dog eared and stained with Nasi Goreng but still gets whipped out each time we make a trip there. However nothing could have prepared us for the exquisite natural beauty, wild adventures and unexpected friendships we encountered along the way, that have made wonderful memories.

So herewith is a two (maybe three) part guide based on my own experiences in Bali…

Thank God for Aircon

The heat is the first sensation to hit you. A burn that courses through every pore in your body, even your sweat is sweating, it is so debilitating that it’s a wonder your limbs are capable of doing the basics let alone paddling and surfing.

Above all else and I mean this; hire an Avanza, for the simple pleasure of air-conditioning. You may think this is an unnecessary waste of funds but seriously guys. Imagine spending an entire day scouting waves, walking up and down those steps at Ulu’s and Bingin sweating like a drug smuggler at an Indonesian airport and then getting into an ice-cool, air-conditioned car. It’s a thing of beauty.

(Also you can fit six full sized adults in an Avanza and a whole quiver of boards on the roof.)

Home sweet Hut

I’ve been really fortunate to stay in a couple of beautiful places, from the affordable and charming chalets in Legians, Tulban and Kuta to an incredible scenic villa in Bingin. Accommodation is probably the most important aspect of organising a trip to Bali even more so if you’re planning on taking your lady with.

Let’s be honest, this isn’t an issue for dudes, not in the least. Staying in a bamboo shack on Bingin beach seems like a great idea until you have to share a long drop with the entire community especially when you’re suffering from Bali Belly. It’s just gross.

So do us a favour and book a room in a surf camp, besides there is zero chance of romance in the bedroom if you can hear Aussies snoring through the banana leaf wall in the next hut.

The family that plays together stays together

This seems obvious but you’d be surprised how many people actually aren’t good travel partners. If you’re travelling as a group you’ll need four types of personalities to get you through and ensure it’s an adventure of a lifetime;

The Planner (AKA My dad): This person should be able to read maps because getting around Bali isn’t an easy task especially if you’re the exploring type. He figured out what the agenda was for the day and how to get there and back in one piece.

The Joker (AKA Andre Mory and Greg Sarron): This person keeps you laughing in every situation. Like when your car gets stuck in a massive pothole in Balangan and you run out of petrol in a seriously foreign terrain or in Greg’s case the guy is just so hilarious that every moment of your holiday is spent in tears watching him immerse himself in the culture.

The Translator (AKA My mom): Before we had even left for the airport she knew how to say, “Hello”, “Thank you” and “Coffee with two sugars please” in Balinese. She was also the first person to get to know all the cultural intricacies and customs and be on first name basis with every local at the Ulu’s café.

The Videographer (AKA Brusco): He was so eager to document every moment of our trip that we never had to draw straws for who would film us surfing plus his running commentary on every detail made for brilliant watching when we got back home.

Kuta: A lady of the night

Do not stay in Kuta; unless you’re hell bent on nonstop shopping, bartering, partying and drinking with Aussies.

Most travel agencies will sell you packages that include accommodation in Kuta, what they don’t tell you is that Kuta is a solid 40 minutes away from the most famous surf spots in Bali, not ideal if your trip revolves around catching the best waves in the world.

Kuta reminds me of Camps Bay on New Year’s eve; every tourist converging in the same place at the same time with one goal in mind, to have the best night ever. Getting from A to B is a death defying experience, scooters and tuk-tuks racing around like worker ants all through the night, every single local trying to sell you something you don’t need and ear numbing trance blaring out into the street from the many clubs that entice you in to give up your hard earned cash for over-priced booze. Clearly, it wasn’t my kind of vibe.

One thing, Poppy’s Lane is bargain shopping paradise for women so leave your lady there for a day while you surf.