Subliminal motivation

It's that time of year again in our household, the itchy feet syndrome and no I’m not talking about athlete’s foot, I’m talking about that sudden will to wander, the urge to get on a plane and go! In my family this means one thing, Bali. It’s actually been a couple of years since our last family escape into the tropics and maybe, just maybe if my old man reads this it will reignite his desire to sip an ice cold Bintang with a view of Padang.

Here is the long awaited second instalment of the two part guide to surviving Bali;

"Why no whole six-pack?"

Uluwatu and Padang Padang were where we spent most of our time and we really got to know the locals and every year that we returned they remembered us … by name! Which brings me to the most important rule of thumb when travelling, be gracious, kind and above all respectful of the locals. This really pays off in the long run, the Balinese are very generous people, they'll offer you accommodation in their own homes, food off their own tables, surfing lessons, tour guides of secret surf spots and discounts with all their friends selling goods on the beach from sarongs to massages.

Take care to remember their names and spend some time getting to know them. It will make your trip so much more authentic and memorable.

Although I never had the opportunity to visit any laanie spas or hotels during my trips to Bali, I’ve still received what I like to think of as luxury treatment, imagine this;

You've just got out of the water, you're not what you'd call refreshed, the ocean is lukewarm and the waves were crowded today but the view is magnificent and you’re just stoked to be lying on a tropical beach. Wayan walks up to you, all smiles, she asks you if you want a drink, you ask for a Bintang and she says, “Jus won bintan, wai no ho sik pa?” (Which translated into English is “Just one Bintang! Why no whole six-pack?!”) It makes you laugh and you ask her for a bowl of spicy mie-goreng to go with that beer. And so there you are mesmerised by your surroundings, boardies still freshly soaked against your skin, being served an authentic Balinese meal that pretty much costs the same as a packet of entjies back in Kaapstad. Ya, you feel like a King right?

You’re going to need some back up boards!

On our second trip to Bali we did a lot of exploring and ended up on some pretty wild breaks and beaches far from any city centre, shop or medical facility. Balangan was beautiful, an endless beach of precious cowrie shells and maybe a few bamboo huts scattered along the mountain. (This was way before any developments in the area.)

When we arrived, there was only one other guy out. Getting out to the backline was tricky; the reefs in Bali are notoriously dangerous and known to take a fat chunk out of you and your board if you’re not careful which is exactly what happened to this dude. After snapping his first board he came in, grabbed another board and went in for a second attempt only to be carried out moments later by my dad and brother, his second board snapped, his shoulder dislocated and a broken collarbone. Needless to say, it took all of us to drag this guy to his car so his girlfriend could drive him to a hospital. Don’t be cocky guys, if the ocean says no, she means no!

Lose the map / Guide Book unless you're resolute on finding a particular spot and plan on surfing there day in and day out till the end of your trip. Bali’s diverse terrain offers a real adventure for those looking to explore and no one knows those muddy dirt tracks better than the locals. The most incredible breaks and villages I visited were found on a whim. Medewi and Balian are some of them. My dad had heard about this wave and spoken to a local who gave us some sketchy directions. We almost gave up looking for it, when we ran out of food and water on the way but it was worth the thirst when we arrived. The sand was fine black volcanic ash that glittered in the sun. The beach was lined with palm trees and Brusco and I spent the day climbing them in search of fresh coconuts. If you’ve ever dreamt of abandoning it all to live on a ‘deserted island’ then this is where X marks the spot.

Blondie's be prepared to say NO!

I was fourteen when we went on our first Bali holiday so I was quite unprepared for the crazy marriage proposals that were pitched to me on a daily basis. At one point this middle-aged Indonesian dude offered my dad money to buy me. Needless to say, that one didn’t go down so well with my old man.

At the time I had blonde hair and I think that has something to do with the open eyed/ slack jawed staring I got from the local men. I wasn’t such a hit with the Brazilian boys though much to my dismay! Depending how much you love yourself this can be a hindrance or a taste of fame.

Bug Smuggler

My mother has quite an unhealthy obsession with three things; shells, coffee and frangipanis.

So when we landed in Bali she was literally transported to her own version of heaven. Bali is famous for its Java and while this is easy to transport back to Cape Town in your luggage, shells and branches of frangipani trees are not. Needless to say, this never stopped my mom who walked confidently through customs with illegal items stuffed in wet newspaper sandwiched between two surf boards in our enormous family sized board bag. At home she carefully unwrapped her smuggled items, planted the frangipanis (which have grown into huge trees all around our house) and washed out the shells in the kitchen sink where much to our surprise all sorts of insects and marine creatures submerged from their natural habitats. If there happens to be an outbreak of some wild Indonesian disease, you know mom’s to blame!