Stretchered Reality

Last year Billabong South Africa ran a competition called Stretch Your Reality. A young surfer called Andrew Zwiers won. People who entered the contest had a chance to win a prize of their own design by ruminating on what would be the perfect spectacle.

Out of all the entries received, this was the one that got the ous at Billabong stoked out and ready to sign over prizes. His dream entailed “A trip to Hawaii to watch the Pipe Masters.”

Zwiers got what he asked for, and flies to Hawaii at the end of the year to sit on the hallowed sand and watch the best surfers pull into 15 foot barrels metres from the water’s edge. It might be a rush surfing Pipe, but it is also a major rush watching. This sort of prize is noteworthy in South Africa, and we couldn’t let it go unnoticed, so we got hold of the dude in question to cold-call him about his trip to The Rock.

How old are you and when did you start surfing?

I’m 23 and I started surfing when I started varsity, so almost 5 years now.

Well done on the win. It’s a pretty amazing prize. Everyone who calls him or herself a surfer needs to go to Hawaii at least once, so you can tick this one off.  What made you decide to enter the contest?

I entered the contest because I bought a pair of baggies and dig the idea of being able to design my own prize. Big ups to Billabong, what a rad idea.

We heard that you've won an overseas trip already this year. What’s that all about?

It was actually three years ago. I won a trip to Spain to do the bullrun in Pamplona with three of my mates. We went South African on them and asked if they could fly us a few weeks early, which they kindly did and we back-packed around Europe cheaply, before going to Pamplona for the competition part of the trip. We ended up hitting Portugal, Spain and south France and ended the trip getting chased by rhino sized bulls.

You sound pretty brave. Are you going to surf in Hawaii? Do you have any surf spots that you feel you have to surf while there?

Definitely. I don’t really know many spots but super keen to surf some reef breaks.

It's a long haul. Do you have any tricks for really long flights?

Books are the business for downtime at the airport.

How many boards are you going to take?

Haha the word 'quiver' can’t really be used to describe my board collection. I only have two boards that are currently useable, so I wont be racking my brains out choosing.

What’s the biggest wave you have surfed?

Not anything to write home about, nothing much bigger than 6-foot that I can remember. Those were at Scotties and Ponto, so nothing really gnarly.

Which is your favourite wave in the world?

Goodness, we had Ponto so ridiculously good two years back but I have to say J-Bay for how consistent it is. My last trip there we surfed the whole day every day for almost a week.

You have a chaperone on your trip to Hawaii. Are you ready to travel with Jarvi? What have you heard?

Ya he sounds like a legend. Lynne Mackers says he's a champ and she wouldn't lie to me. He's definitely got some stories to tell so I’m keen for that. I heard he knows his way around the island and so hopefully he can show me some sweet spots as well.

Umm ya, he does know his way around the island. Ever heard of Femme Nui? Moving on… Pipeline is crazy. Do you reckon that watching will be a highlight of your life?

For sure. It’s this ridiculous, gnarly, mental wave that ends up right on the shore. It’s definitely going to be mind blasting.

Poor bastard. Doomed to traipse The Rock with Jarvi and experience what a freelance journalist goes through at a place like Hawaii. Threats of violence, intimidation, being sworn at, shouted at, chased, pushed and threatened – and that’s just in the arrivals hall at Honolulu. Then there are Jarvi’s ‘friends’ like Kala and the rest of his posse who still want to chat to him about what became known as the ‘Backyards Incident’ when he was there a few ago, and finally there’s that friendly moke who wants to chat about the time Jarvi went over the falls and landed on him at Freddyland.

Either way, it’s not going to be a dull trip.