Smile Rude Boy

Sunny South Africa has by no means been exempt from the evil thatmen do. Crime, poverty and massive class disparities have been woveninto the social fabric of our beautiful country. You might well askwhat my sombre timbre has to do with surfing, and why I’m bumming outon would have otherwise been a pleasant Spring day? Well, here’s mygripe - we surfers are for the most part a sullen bunch of anunappreciative whiners. Worse still, there are a growing number ofsurfers who are simply rude. Surfers love to throw a quilted blanket oftepid excuses over their limited civility.

Here are some responses I got from surfers (including high profileindividuals, one of whom regularly surfs a supposedly mellow learningground) when I discussed the simple act of greeting a fellow surfer:

    •    “You have no idea how frustrating it is when it’s crowded and I’m trying to practice for a comp.”

    •    “Hey Brah I’ve lived here all my life, don’t these okes know who I am?”

    •    “They’re just kooks jamming up my spot, why should I bother greeting them?”

    •    “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this swell, I haven’t got time to chat to some @#$%”

    •    “Why should I greet a doormat, egg-beater, goatboater,sponger, longboarder, or some $%^& riding a hired mal or SUP*?”

Years back, when I bothered to surf J-Bay, I watched a surfer getrag-dolled over the rocks at Supers. His leash-less board bounced aheadof him towards where I was standing at the water's edge. Before DavyJones could suck the board back out and tenderise it into a cubistsculpture, I scrambled over the rocks to rescue it. When I handed theboard back, he snatched it from my grasp and turned his neoprened backto me without the slightest whiff of appreciation or acknowledgment.

What a *&^$! I stood there dumbfounded, but fathoms deep, mysurfer instinct told me that the merest hint of a smile or civilitywould have been a personal affront to his skewed sense of surferhonour. What a *&^$! Arrogance and unfriendliness have becomesynonymous with our sport. I’m beginning to think all those 16mmhome-styled neo-hippy surf movies accompanied by Jack Johnson and hispalm fronds are no more than cunning marketing speak. Endless sunsetsand blanketed fireside tales are best left to Walt Disney and hisanimated fairytale friends.

I digress, many surfers find it painfully hard to smile or evenacknowledge the presence of interlopers due to the realities of limitedliquid real estate. Their frustration is understandable, but theirresponse is unforgivable. The over privileged microcosm that surfers,and more specifically South African surfers inhabit often preclude usto exhibit compassion or civility. Waves, bru, I want more waves. Ifthat’s the case, drive till you find your selfish nirvana, but no doubtyou’ll soon enough be eyeballing the inquisitive kelp gulls, penguinsand other marine life that cross your path, until of course you paddleinto the territory of an even more inquisitive apex predator.

Why can’t surfers greet each other and say thank you? Perhaps it’s apainful reflection of the current state of 21st century society. Overpopulation, gratuitous access to unprecedented technology andrecessions have resulted in a “Me, Myself and I” generation, drippingin disdain for common decency and respect in and out of the water.

Sadly, surfers form part of that demographic - sometimes it seemseven more so - and the fallout is not altogether pleasant. It’s hightime we reassessed and recalibrated our sense of importance. Perhapsit’s time we smiled a little more, growled a little less and realisedhow undeservingly lucky and privileged we really are.      

To those self-loving individuals, including certain longboarders whowill viciously rip into a young grom at a drop of hat, I say spend someof your time chatting to a veteran, refugee or one of those Big Issuevendors. They might well alter your perspective for a couple ofminutes, so much so you might even be inspired to contort your faceinto a grimaced smile when you next encounter a fellow surfer in theline-up. Perhaps it’s time we proved the journalist Tom Brokaw’s phrase“The Greatest Generation” needn’t only apply to those who grew upduring the privations of the Great Depression, and then went on tofight in World War Two. Charity begins in the water…and with a simplesmile. Just ask the dolphins!

* Kindly note that no form of civilit y should ever be extended tothe SUP menace (especially when encountered in a crowded line-up).