Five Scary Things

You will be scared at some stage during a trip to the North Shore, and it will take many seasons before the butterflies calm down and you feel more at ease on an every day basis. Here are a few things that many of us, not all of us, will be terrified by.

1.    Surfing In A Rising Swell

Too many dramatic articles in the past have described what can go wrong in a rising swell in Hawaii. Stuck out to sea with no way in except through 30-foot dumpers, time to paddle a few kays down the beach etc etc These days the forecasts are pretty spot on, yet you can still find yourself experiencing an inexplicable push in swell. One minute you’re surfing four-foot Backdoor and having loads of fun and the next minute you’re facing an eight-foot set that shouldn’t be where it is and there is a big lump of very shallow reef between you and the already breaking wave. If you don’t want this to happen, check the charts very, very carefully.


2.    Having An Hawaiian Stare At You

Maybe you’ve simply got a hit-me face, or maybe he’s having a bad day, but there is not much more intimidating than paddling out in good conditions into a medium-sized crowd and having one local boy fix his eyes on you. You’ll know immediately if he is just checking you out, or has decided that you’re not surfing at that break that day. If you get the stare, best to look away and try to mingle. If you’ve still got the eyeballs on you no matter what, and you can feel them burning into your skull, choose discretion and paddle in. That’s what I would do.

3.    Having An Hawaiian Point Outside

So you finally pluck up enough courage and paddle out into some solid stuff. You’re jumpy and nervous, as you should be, but you’re keen on getting one or two under the belt so that you can go home and tell the boys that you managed to scratch into a few that were way out of your comfort zone, and that made your trip worthwhile. The sets are slow, the warm water is giving you a bit of courage, and you scratch for a smaller one. You miss it and you turn around to see if there’s another wave behind it. Instead you see an older Hawaiian guy, cool and calm but stroking as hard as humanly possible on his 8-foot blade. He sees you, and he points outside, and you feel the fear. Oh yes. You’re about to be swatted. Get going with those deep breaths….

4.    Getting Stuck Between Backyards And Sunset

Backyards is a great place to have some fun and not get too klapped by the sets. There are usually quite a few waves for everyone and not too many pros out. Sometimes you can hook into a screamer right-hander that races down the reef and heads for Sunset. Kick out here and if you feel the wash literally propelling you towards Sunset you’re in big trouble. Spot a set coming through straight on and you’re heading for a ride over one of the gnarliest reefs on the North Shore. Paddle to the right, back towards Backyards, and you’ll be fighting an impossible fight against the sweep. Paddle to the left and you’re going to take some deep Sunset sets on the head and go for a ride over the reef. Either way you’re fucked. Like choosing between leprosy and ebola.

5. Drug Monsters

They are around. Crime is still a serious problem on the North Shore, and these people who have drug problems are in the thick of it. You’ll recognize the ice tweakers.  They are around, drinking and twitching. Ice is a crystallized form of methamphetamine and is totally odourless, and pretty cheap, and there is a well-documented epidemic of ice users on the North Shore. These tweakers can be pretty violent, and they love robbing houses on the North Shore full of expensive photographic and electronic equipment during the Triple Crown. Running into an iced-up tweaker can be unnerving, to say the least. The cops do fuck-all on the North Shore, so if it goes down you’re on your own. Which pretty much goes for your whole Hawaiian experience. It is an amazing place, the Mecca of surfing, a place that every surfer in the world should go to, but if shit goes down you’re on your own.