Big Wave Green Light

A solid wall about to offload at Bricks, site for the new BWT event in 2015. Photo Neil Lipner

A previously secret surf spot in the Boland will now host the BWT, according to an exclusive announcement by the WSL, and an underground big wave organisation based in Pearly Beach near Gansbaai. In terms of the new agreement, breaks near Cape Town will not be included.

Bricks, a bombora slab near Danger Point known for its dangerous rust-coloured reef and giant walls, has been accepted by the WSL as the alternate spot after Dungeons was voted off the BWT recently.

Corne Koekemoer, a local big wave surfer and head of the Groot Geweer Eienaars Federasie (GGEF), said that after hearing about Dungeons, he immediately saw an opportunity to build on the past to ensure a better future for the local community, and had contacted the WSL.

"We are moer of a excited because our surfers have been laying down the challenge for years, trowel in hand. They have always shown a lot of spirit, and are on the level. With this new partnership with the Americans, we can lay a solid foundation. These okes will cre-ate the building blocks for our young underground chargers to cement their careers. They are the architects of their destiny, the foremans of their fate," said Koekemoer, who claimed that Bricks was a lot heavier than Dungeons, and therefore had earned locals the right to take over the mantle as rightful heirs to the big wave throne.

"We are moer of a excited because our surfers have been laying down the challenge for years, trowel in hand. They have always shown a lot of spirit. They are on the level. With this new partnership with the Americans, we can lay a solid foundation. These okes will cre-ate the building blocks for our young underground chargers to cement their careers. They are the architects of their destiny, the foremans of their fate," said Koekemoer, who claimed that Bricks was a lot heavier than Dungeons, and therefore had earned locals the right to take over the mantle as rightful heirs to the big wave throne.

"We don't care about this game of thrones that surfing has become. We don't care who is surfing better than who. Or who is stabbing who in the back with a battle axe. We just do it for the lekker fear it makes us feel. Why else does a man go big wave surfing in a place with the most great white sharks in the world?"

In a terse statement, spokesperson for the WSL, Willard Blunt Junior, said he was overwhelmed at the positive feedback, and the rustic willingness to host the event, from the locals. "The fellas at GGEF are laying a fantastic platform for the future of big wave surfing in the Boland, and perhaps even Africa. I am not entirely sure how to pronounce his name, but Corny Kookmeyer is a great friend of the WSL, and we are proud to announce that he has won the broadcast rights to stream the event to a huge TV show over there in Africa. I believe they call it Cake Net or something like that".

"We've even had a call from Jon Stewart to get Corny on The Daily Show when Trevor Noah takes over! It can only mean a bright news future for Africa," Blunt said, briefly.

Koekemoer said the WSL had agreed to give GGEF members 16 wildcard slots to the event after scarcely believable displays of big wave courage in recent years that had put the Boland locals way ahead of most big wave surfers in the world.

Koekemoer said the WSL had agreed to give GGEF members 16 wildcard slots to the event after scarcely believable displays of big wave courage in recent years that had put the Boland locals way ahead of most big wave surfers in the world.

"We didn't need to go to Mavericks and Jaws and Sunset and Waimea and those places. We just got stuck in at our big wave spots Bricks, Tokeloshes and Braai Grids. We don't care about the cameras and the Vleisboek and Twitface and the BruTube ... always making competitions about who got the dikkest bomb, or whose chest was pushed out bigger. We just tuned each other who was good enough, and the world listened, you know."

One day at Braai Grids, a smoking hot lefthand point near the Pearly Beach caravan park, the locals tackled and survived waves in excess of 90 feet during the 100 year storm of 2004.

"It was a terrible day. It was a horrifying day. But it was a paddle day. This was no tow. The guys were freefalling into the deepest pitjies we have ever seen, and probably will ever see. You see, we don't have the bucks for jetskis. That's the thing. These ouens are tough. You must learn to sprint on sand before you jog on tartan you know? You must know how to double de-clutch without stripping your gearbox. Only then can you sommer put an automatic gearbox in your vehicle," Koekemoer said, wisely.

The only known photo of Braai Grids on the massive day on 2 September 2004. Some say the biggest ever. Photo Unknown

They had also escaped a bad 50 foot day at Tokoloshes, which had consistently been 25ft+ last winter. "It's a very scary place. There is this dry rock. This grim rock face. It's always looking angry you know. That's why I always tell the guys if they are scared of Tokoloshes, they must escape it with Bricks. It's always a step up, always at least three feet bigger, or bigger than that."

Koekemoer said he would make a concession to the Cape Town big wave crew and allow them to take four of the wildcard slots (or was it six? he couldn't remember), as long as they could prove they could survive a session at any of their brutal Boland big wave spots at bigger than 50 feet.

"And we are not talking about that wussy spot in Hermanus. Comparing that place with Bricks or Tokoloshes is like playing with a Swedish toddler on a grizzly bear rug in a warm cozy log cabin with the snow delicately falling outside when actually you should really be comparing that soft fluffy experience to taking the Swedish toddler outside in an Arctic blizzard to claw a grizzly bear to the death and then endure an angry charge by 1,000 spitting white walkers. Ja okay, so sue me. I am looking forward to Game of Thrones on teefee," he said.

The window of the period, once the infrastructure and disaster management plan has been cemented and the ceiling put in place for wildcard entries, would run from 1 May to 1 August.

Patricia Semille, DA councillor for the Overberg District Municipality, said that attracting 14 foreign big wave surfers, 16 poverty-stricken South African surfers, 3 judges, 2 cameramen and 4 commentators to the region would mean a massive boost in tourism spend.

Patricia Semille, DA councillor for the Overberg District Municipality, said that attracting 14 foreign big wave surfers, 16 poverty-stricken South African surfers, 3 judges, 2 cameramen and 4 commentators to the region would mean a massive boost in tourism spend.

"We are hoping the boost to GDP will come in somewhere behind shark cage diving and whale watching, and probably behind wine-tasting at Schmokkelaars Estate and beer sales at the Birkenhead brewery, but definitely ahead of revenues we manage to extract from perlemoen (abalone) prospecting and unseasonal crayfish fishing by the Tri-Industry Alliance of Dongzhou in China (TRIAD), who hold the only available out-of-season permit for all Marine Protected Areas between Rooiels and Coffee Bay on the Wild Coast.

Gansbaai, a popular tourist destination in the Western Cape, is known for its dense population of great white sharks, but remains a popular whale-watching location.

On Wikipedia, according to the person who wrote this entry (that still requires a citation): "after Kruger National Park, the great white sharks at Gansbaai attract some of the highest number of tourist to South Africa for any singular activity."

However, in a perplexing and mystifying contrast, surfing along the same coastal region attracted the fewest visitors and least income from tourist activity.

Semille admitted that the latest Overberg marketing plan was having difficulty disassociating the two statistics.